PREFACE
‘Personality development’ implies improvement in dealing with others in all spheres of an individual’s life, be it with friends, or in the office or in any other environment. In any environment, one can stand out if his or her personality is one that is bright and communi- cative. Skill in dealing with people is an integral part of any person- ality development programme. A pleasing personality is one that has a balance in behaviour and is
moderate in his or her reactions in public, while simultaneously maintaining a friendly and an open yet sensible approach towards other people.
The developing personality is one that has attributes that are enviable – the ability to perform well in public, to hold one’s own and make an impression on people with one’s skills socially due to a good personality which is some- thing that cannot be matched up to by any other skill.
A pleasing personality has a ‘marketable value’ in a complex society and is highly prized and sought after. In simple cultures, where the scale of social relations is low and behaviour is regulated by age-old customs as is often seen in traditional and tribal societies, personality is of less concern. As late as the end of the 19th century, life in India was relatively simple. The child went to school to learn the three R’s and perhaps acquire a smattering of purely cultural subjects. Extracurricular activities were practically non-existent. After school, the child returned home to share in household chores and do her lessons if it was a girl; a boy usually got down to helping his father or elder siblings in their traditional occupation like farm- ing or keeping accounts or running a shop. Same was the case with college and university students. They went to college to learn and get trained in running the family business or taking up a job, usually clerical because the white collar jobs were reserved for the British, who were the rulers over the natives.
Social life, except among the elite, was largely limited to family gatherings, church or temple or mosque visits and contacts with rela- tives and neighbours. On the whole, work was an individual matter, with each breadwinner working for himself, whether in the role of a farmer, craftsman, shopkeeper or professional. Mate selection was greatly influenced by parental pressure and restricted to the confines of one’s own community.
Development of personality is a major goal for most of us. In this ‘swell guy’ era, with its premium on quiet adjustment, intel- ligence, competence, sweat and ability are becoming mere basic requirements for the chance to show one’s true mettle, through one’s personality.
Today the situation has changed entirely and in practically every sphere of life, personality has acquired special significance. Even before a child finishes the first grade, he or she knows that the most popular child is one with a ‘good’ personality.
In junior high school both boys and girls realise that when going on a date, a pleasing personality is more desirable than intelligence, scholastic achievement, stylish clothes or money. They are well aware of the role personality plays in determining whether they will be leaders or followers in the extra-curricular activities of the school. Moreover, with the growth of big business and the inevitable decline of indi- vidual enterprises, getting along well with others and making a good impression on the boss and colleagues earn greater recognition and acceptance than merely the quality of one’s work.
Reaching the top of the business ladder depends more on person- ality than on intellectual ability as shown by the fact that those who graduate from college at the top of the class are far less likely to reach the heights of business success than those who are experts in social or athletic activities. Every one of us wants a better personal- ity. We tend to picture ourselves in some finishing school where we get transformed into articulate, attractively attired aristocrats. We no longer trip or fumble, or spill or grope. Instead, in our new avatar
we converse, captivate, charm and inspire. Is it any wonder that we read and hear of many personality development courses being run that promise to transform one into a sparkling wit within the next few days; self-evaluation experience that will make one into a mini god with maxi power; or sensitivity sessions where one can feel his or her way into a fantastic future!
We go to these courses expecting great wonders but return home disappointed when we find that we do not fit the mould of the expecting person, bursting with potential and pictured as the norm. We must, however, remember that each of us has different drives, abilities and personalities and cannot be transformed into the icon or personality we admire.
We all our born with our own individual sets of strengths and weaknesses and there is no magic formula which can do wonders to make us the best. But most of us have some unique quality which we have to realise and accept and develop accordingly, so that we can display our strengths and camouflage our weaknesses. When Michelangelo, the great sculptor and painter, got down to carving the statue of David, he spent a long time in selecting the marble piece because he had first to see what was the potential of that marble and how well it would mould to his chisel and hammer. Similarly, when starting on developing our personality, we need to determine what are our basic characteristics, our temperamental traits, our capabili- ties. We may have certain qualities that are beautiful with strains of gold but there could be many blemishes with fault lines of grey.
Our circumstances, our intelligence quotient, nationality, financial condition, environment and parental influence mould our personality, but at the same time we should try to study ourselves and
find out what we are made of
realise who we really are ➡why we react the way we do
➡ accept our strengths and highlight them
identify our weaknesses and how to cover or overcome them
We cannot change our personality by reading this book but we can try to examine ourselves, locate our weaknesses and strengths and improve on our shortcomings. We may admire many persons for their qualities and characteristics but we cannot become their clones. However, we can certainly try to mould ourselves as close to them as possible.
How accurate are we in predicting a person’s personality? Is it so easily predictable? Are there different personality types? What gives us an individual personality? Do women and men differ in their typical personalities? Is our personality different at young age from that when we grow old? Do animals also possess personalities of their own? This book provides answers to these and many more questions on the subject of personality development.
CONTENTS
What is the meaning of personality development?
What does ‘personology’ denote?
Is there a specific age for developing personality?
What are some of the old wives’ tales or beliefs about personality?
What were the ancient theories on development?
Name the psychologists who believed that physique affected personality?
What are the views of modern psychologists and anthropologists on personality?
What are the different types of personality?
How can one tell if a person is an extrovert or an introvert?
Why is it that no two persons are alike?
Explain in detail what a sanguine personality denotes?
What are the characteristics of a melancholic personality?
At times a dynamic person is termed a powerful choleric. What does it mean and what is so special about such a personality?
Some people possess the ability to remain calm and balanced even in an emergency and are called phlegmatic. What sort of a personality is this and what makes such a person most desirable?
Why is development of personality necessary?
Is personality development beneficial to oneself alone or to others as well?
Can the subconscious of a person be altered to affect the conscious?
Can personality make a difference on the longerity of life?
Do men differ from women in their personality or is personality a reflection of the gender?
Should you be held responsible for the type of personality you have? In other words, if you are aggressive, is it because of your parents or your genes? Is your personality the product of your cumulative life experiences?
Can you change your personality in case you are unhappy with certain aspects of it?
What is meant by the term ‘personality pattern?
What are the characteristics of personality changes?
What are the differences in personality patterns?
What is meant by ‘concept of self”?
What are the main types of self-concepts?
What would be an ideal self-concept?
How do the basic self-concepts develop and in whatorder?
What is meant by ‘syndrome’? What are some of the abnormal personality disorders?
What are the personality syndromes which can be explained in everyday language, that is, those apart from the ones mentioned in the previous question?
At what stage or age does personality development begin? How does heredity affect a child’s personality?
How is the personality of a child moulded by the environment?
What are the techniques for moulding the personality of a child?
What are some traditional beliefs about persistence and change in the personality pattern?
What is the meaning of words like ‘persistence’ and ‘change’ in reference to personality?
How do the body or the physical attributesinfluence personality?
What does the word ‘homeostasis’ mean and how does it affect personality?
In what ways does intelligence affect personality?
What is meant by deviant intelligence and how does it affect personality?
Is a person’s behaviour affected by his state of emotions which in turn tend to affect his personality?
Attimes a person gets angry for no reason and at other times, he does not speak but sits quietly. What is the difference between temperament and mood?
What is meant by ’emotional catharsis’? How does it affect personality?
Is it possible that by receiving unaccountable love, a person can remain happy and satisfied throughout life?
